Murdered Out Cars Defined And Football Helmet LOVE

It's the football off season. What to do? I'm going to discuss a topic few think a girl would know about: Murdered Out Cars. At the end I will end with an important football comparison. The urban dictionary offers this version amongst others:
Murdered Out Cars:

FLAT BLACK/Matte Black paint job/rims...headlights, tail lights, windows need to be blacked out as well, no gloss can be on the car....   My Interpretation:   1. The car must be painted matte/flat black. 2. The rims must be black. Not black with a silver rim. Not black with silver rivets. ALL BLACK. 3. Headlights/Tail lights: Smoked or blacked out. I personally prefer smoked. I think it's safer with the same look. And to be frank, usually when people black them out, their cars aren't really Murdered Out in other areas. 4. Tinted Windows. As dark as you can get them legally. THE most important: 5. No gloss can be on the car. Not the grill. Not the Emblems (ahem BMW's). Not the tail pipe. NOTHING shines.   Optional:   6. Smoked license plate cover.     Worksheet: 1.                   Murdered or not? and why?   NOT!!! Emblems and rims!!     2.       Murdered out or not? And why?   YES!! Even the license plate cover is smoked!! Bonus points!!   3.   Murdered out or not? and why.   NO! NO! NO! Don't fall into this trap. I'm almost willing to let the orange outline go, but those headlights.. not even close. And that BMW emblem?! Please. Everyone knows it's a Beamer.          4.       Murdered out or not? And why?   NO!!! Rims, striping, and emblem.   One more   5.       Murdered out or not?? And why?   The tint on the windows is a little light. So, it's up to you. I say yes.   Which leads me to my next topic. Say your football team gets CRAZY and changes the helmets. The fans hate them. BLAH BLAH. No other team in the NFL or College has them like this. NONE.   Jacksonville Jaguars Helmet     Flat Black fade into gold!!!! It's awesome.   Here it's Instagram'd. It's awesome. I can't understand why someone wouldn't LOVE this helmet. But then again they would probably drive a not-quite-murdered-out vehicle. Just sayin'.   MDK In The House   We MUST Protect This House *Car Photos courtesy of Bing search "murdered out car pictures"*

What Jacksonville Jaguars and Murdered Out Cars Have in Common

Do you see these cars? Can you tell me why they are different from other cars?
Some cars think they are "murdered out". They black out the tail lights, but still have SHINY rims. That's not murdered out. Some people paint their cars flat black and leave the shiny trim and emblems. Some people black out the whole car, buy black rims with silver edge. That's not murdered out peeps. Do you know why people do these things to their cars? They want to be stealth. You will never see these cars coming.
So you're asking "what does that have to do with football?" Well, tonight, while I waited 20 minutes for my Lemon Pepper Rotisserie Chicken at Publix, I decided I would start scoping out Fantasy Football  magazines. It's never too early and there is no off season. I started browsing through the FF magazine. Maurice Jones-Drew is listed no.4 in running backs. Well OK. Justin Blackmon is listed no. 41 in wide receivers. Ouch. You know because apparently to these idiots we still have Jack Del Rio coaching. Apparently new coaching and ownership means nothing to these people. I took a look at Marcedes Lewis on the tight end list and then I half threw down the magazine back into it's spot and returned to the deli for my rotisserie chicken. I realize the Nay Sayers make more money by being negative than positive. Just know this Matt Ryan would not be Mattie Ice without Coach Mularkey. And Coach Mularkey is our new coach. So Nay Sayers, LISTEN UP: IT'S A NEW YEAR, IT'S NEW OWNERSHIP, IT'S NEW COACHING. I don't care what you say, we are going to sneak up on you like these stealth cars.
One final car that snuck up on me around Daytona several weeks ago:

NFL, you are next to be snuck up on. The Jaguars will be stealth. We will be the underdog. Bring the hate and nastiness. We will feed on it like yesterday's spaghetti. Keep trash talkin'. It's on.

MDK in the House

We must protect this House.