Let Security Carry 'em Out: A Jaguar Fan's Code of Conduct for Opposing Teams

-Watch out for my medallions, my diamonds are reckless, feels like a midget's hanging from my necklace.


(Anytime you say "Let Security carry'em out," you must follow with the necklace part.)


In the past several weeks, I've noticed several things regarding fan codes of conduct. In Everbank Field, home of the Jaguars: there is no opposing fan code of conduct. Not one that I've seen. When at LG field for the Titans came, there was a clear opposing fan code of conduct at the gate. I need to know why there isn't one at Everbank field. If there is one, it needs to be more noticeable.


Why is this a big deal??!! Because I pay good money to sit in my seat and I continually get disrespected every single game by opposing fans. To the point of not wanting to sit in my seats anymore. Even a small part of me that says, "I still support my team, but I can't take the abuse. Maybe I should sit at home and watch the game."


If you are new here, you probably think "well, she must be a new season ticket member". Well no, I'm not new. I've been here 10 years and have the pin to prove it.


However, several weeks ago, I had a Stealer's fan (as in stealing my joy) in her short but very popular lace shorts, shake "herself" in my face as she walks down the aisle, directly in front of me and my 9 year old nephew, when the Stealers intercepted Blake Bortles. Albeit, to a seat that wasn't hers.


"Oh ok. This is an aberrancy." No. It's not.

This past week, when the Dul-phins were here, I had the added bonus of getting up and going to the bathroom and coming back to 2 guys sitting in my seats. Alas, where did they come from? From the Bud (aka Drunk) Zone. I immediately motioned for them to get out of my seat, that I had arrived to take my seats back. WWHHHATTTTT!!!????


The 2 seats next to me were empty the whole game until I returned to my seat from the bathroom. There was a very drunk UCF fan next to me, who was passed out asleep. Next to him, was a
Dul-Phins fan who was on his way to being very drunk also. That guy was using chewing tobacco and spitting it into an aluminum bottle with no lid. He got very agitated when the Dul-Phins did something wrong on the field and hit the bottle just right with his other hand. And then it happened. I ended up with chewing tobacco and spit on my right hand. How am I sure? I smelled it. It was nasty and I had no napkin to wipe it off. So, with about 8 minutes to go in the 4th quarter, I vacated my seats to wash my hands and exit the stadium. On my way out , I mentioned the incidents to security and left.


So, I have come up with several rules:


1. Cheer when your team does something good. Then sit down and shut up.
2. Do not plant yourself in my seat. It's mine. I paid for it. Go sit in your assigned/designated seat and leave me alone.
3. You have a corresponding side of the stadium if you are a fan of the opposing team. If you wish to jack someone's seats, go there and do it.
4. Do not become disrespectful to my team and myself when my team does something "bad" and your team does something "good".
5. Please do not get drunk in my stadium. If you throw up on me, you will have a bad time.
6. Feel free to take your shenanigans to the parking lot and express them.


I refuse to leave. I will fight this battle until I am victorious or move to Club seats.


MDK In The House


We Must Protect This House


P.S. It wouldn't hurt to win a few games. You know, WINNING SOLVES EVERYTHING. Apparently.

An Open Letter to the Haters of the Jacksonville Jaguars

What constitutes a hater? From the Urban Dictionary: Definition of a hater-

A person that simply cannot be happy for another person's success. So rather than be happy they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person. Enter Tony Kornheiser and every other pain in the bee-hind reporter (even my beloved Mike and Mike in the Morning). Please stop hating on a city and a team that you haven't been part of and haven't spent time in. You think it can't and shouldn't happen for Jacksonville. Yeah, I'm talking about  success. Do you honestly believe we are not worthy? Do you think we are any less loyal because we are in a so-called "small market"? We have no dome. Do you have any idea what it's like to sit in 100 degree heat? And watch football? No, you don't. You sit up in New York and New England with your parkas and hot chocolate. So save your judgements and accusations for some other team. How about Phillip Rivers and that abomination of a football team of which he's supposed to be leading? Yeah let's talk about that team's lackluster season ticket sales and how "they are next" to be in L.A.!! To the residents of Duval (or Dru-val) as the case may be: This is the National Football League. Not the NCAA. NFL is the best of the best. Faster, Bigger, Stronger. Please do not insult the NFL by thinking they should be like a NCAA team. Do you know how many undefeated teams there are in the NFL right now? 1. Do you know how many teams in the NFL have gone from start to finish with no losses? 1-the 1972 Miami Dolphins. One team in almost 40 years. Please do not degrade the NFL about how you think it should be similar to the NCAA. Any given Sunday. Either you are going to win or you are going to lose. So quit comparing the success of the Gator Nation to the lack of success of the Jacksonville Jaguars. Comparing apples to oranges. Get over yourselves and realize that this city was nothing before the Jaguars and it will be nothing if they go to another city. Your apathy will assure a move to another city. We as fans haven't had much to believe in lately. But we can't give up yet. I'm not going to be the one who says if I woulda, if I shoulda, if I coulda. That's not going to be me. So, either join me or curse me. It's your choice. If you love the city we are in and if you can remember what this city was like before football came to town (and I ain't talking about Florida vs. Georgia) stand loud and stand proud: WE ARE....JAGUARS!!!!!

My Tim Tebow Football Conspiracy Theory

It all began with innocent highlight reel of Urban Meyer giving Tim Tebow throwing instruction sometime before the Sunday game. The wheels began turning:
1. Tony Sparano is pretty much on his way out of coaching for Miami.
2. Urban Meyer is not presently coaching.
3. Miami Needs a Quarterback.
4. Denver has 3 Quarterbacks.
5. Miami is on it's way to picking first in the 2012 Draft.
6. Miami is having a LITTLE trouble avoiding blackouts.
7. The Miami Dolphins honored the 2009 National Championship Gator team. (really? that was 2 almost  3 years ago.)
8. John Elway is the dominant figure in the Denver Broncos Organization.
9. John Elway played college football at Stanford.
10. Urban Meyer was getting chummy on the sidelines with the Dolphins owner.
11. Andrew Luck will probably be the No.1 pick in the 2012 draft. He also plays college football for Stanford.

See where I'm going with this? Miami fires Sparano. Loses a bunch of games. Gets the first pick in the draft. Hires Urban. Trades 1st round draft pick to Denver for Tebow. Denver gets Luck and voila Elway gets his man. I LOVE ELWAY!! Oh and Tebow gets to return to Florida...I mean the state of Florida....LOL.

MDK in the House